A Cure For Selfishness

A Cure For Selfishness

  I have a confession to make. I’m not always easy to live with. Obviously, if you’re my wife or my Mother, that’s not new news to you. But for those of you who think your pastor or this pastor is merely one notch below God, keep reading.

This past Friday, I woke up in a pretty good mood. Don’t be surprised if that doesn’t surprise you. Truth be told, I can be hard to live with at times. And this past Friday was one of those days.

It started when I didn’t get my own way. It was my day off and I had plans that just didn’t happen. But instead of moving on, my attitude got worse. I grumbled around the house, taking out my frustrations on my Mother (yes, she’s now a part of our household), my wife, and even on the dog. I grumbled because it seemed like I was doing everything for everyone else and no one was doing anything for me. Selfishness personified, right?

Don’t EVEN try to tell me you never have days like I had last Friday. Isn’t there a selfish vein in each of us? Isn’t that our old, pre-Christian nature trying to get the upper hand? It is indeed. So what can we do to combat that selfishness when it rears its ugly head? What can we do to stop being selfish? Let me offer some suggestions that worked for me.

1. Evaluate your attitude. It's important to remember that it’s normal (though not good) to be selfish from time to time. Sometimes we go through phases of life where we’re more self-focused. Are you selfish with your time? Your resources? Your attention? Or are you neglecting the needs of other people who rely on you in some way? Once you pinpoint the problem, you can start making a determined effort to change. It may take time and a little practice. Last Friday it took me most of the day. Eventually, you'll find that you’re better able to recognize selfish behavior and more skilled at addressing it before it becomes a serious problem.

2. Pay attention to others. Paying attention to others and listening to what they say is important if you want to stop being selfish. Active listening can help you focus on the needs of others, help them to feel valued, and take the focus off of yourself. To listen actively, you’ll need to be fully present in the moment. Pay attention to what others are saying and how they’re saying it. Show interest in others by taking the focus off of you and putting it on others.

3. Be aware of your thought biases. How we think can affect how we interpret and interact with our world. Because I thought everyone was aligned against me this past Friday, I made poor decisions that led to selfish behavior. I blamed those who were closes to me for making me feel like a slave. My self-serving bias led me to feel that their normal requests were making me work hard on my day off and I blamed my family members for my lousy attitude. That “thinking” bias cause me to see things only from my own perspective. But when we’re aware of those thinking errors, we can make an effort to consider different ways of seeing situations can help reduce both bias and selfishness.

4. Volunteer to help others. Serving others is a great way to turn your focus from yourself to others. While serving others is certainly a great way to help make the world a better place, evidence also suggests that servants will eventually reap God’s rewards. Serving others can reduce loneliness and increase social interaction. It can improve our ability to deal with stress. Serving others can help us form new friendships and even fight against feelings of depression. And because serving others requires us to focus on something outside ourselves, it can go a long way toward reducing selfishness.

5. Show gratitude. Gratitude involves appreciating the good things in life and the people we should cherish more than stuff. Practicing gratitude can reduce self-centeredness by helping us focus our attention on the people we love and respect. One strategy to help increase appreciation for others is to keep a gratitude journal. Spend a few minutes each day writing down a few things you’re grateful for. Focusing on the people who bring happiness to your life can reduce self-centeredness and selfishness.

         By late in the afternoon last Friday, I had finally come to my senses and apologized to my Mother, to Pamela and to Millie (our dog). I think all three of them forgave me and showed me grace to try again the next day. Swallow your pride, kick your selfishness to the curb, and try to out-serve the people in your life. While we walk on this planet, we’ll always wrestle with selfishness, so do your best, with the Holy Spirit’s help, to overcome it . . . or at least minimize it each day.

         Let me know if I’m NOT the only person who wrestles with selfishness. Write to me at Kingdomguy@gmail.com and let me know what YOU do to fight against selfishness.

Oh, one more thing . . . If you’re a regular attender or member of the Mt. Laurel Church of God, consider reading John 2:1-11 to get ready to hear God’s message through Pastor Dale this coming Sunday, January 19, 2025

^{Pastor Dale}

Pastor Dale (PD) and Pamela his wife are honored to serve the Mt. Laurel Church of God. If this Mid-Week Encouragement has helped you, perhaps it may encourage someone else. Feel free to share this message with anyone you choose. And if you'd like to receive PD's Mid-Week Encouragement, just send an email to (kingdomguy@gmail.com) and I'll accommodate your request.